One day I swear to myself that I am going to get a grip on the chaos that is my life, but it seems that when things are getting better a whole new ton of bricks is dropped in my lap. No this isn't one of those poor me thoughts that no one will never read, it's more of a 'we all got shanked in this joke we call life because no matter the money or fame we will always be left wanting something that we all in the end be missing. I write, it helps me to calm my nerves to just put thought to paper to help me better understand what my state of mind was when certain things in my life shaped who I have become today,

  I know I shouldn't be here to even be here to write this today because my brother and I had our numbers drawn early on in life. Our mother was dating a man who had a need for heart medication, I am not sure who was watching us or where they were at that the time but Bobby and I between the two of us took that entire bottle. We were very young, probably two and four, it wasn't good and I have no memory of it but I did once see an article and a picture of me with a the firefighter who saved our lives. We both dies that day but thank to a perfect stranger we are both here today. You would think knowing that we had that close call would make the both of us wise an following the straight and arrow of like, but you would be wrong. This was just the start of what would become lives that were plagued with many things no two kids should have to go though.